Pain Means Gain

It's Thursday. I'm propped up on the couch with the iPad creating a picture of Cappadocia, Turkey out of multi-colored pixel boxes when Sugar comes up from the basement, just having finished a treadmill run.

"Have you heard from the girls?"

This is code for "Are you going to the gym tonight?" My phone has been strangely silent today. I had been expecting the usual buzz of activity as it neared the end of the work day and I had to double check my phone to make sure I hadn't left it on night mode as I am prone to do. Ringers were on so I started wondering if I'd been unanimously booted from the gym posse. Renee was pretty mad that I didn't share my Rice Krispie cookies with her last week.

Dilemma. Do I contact them and find out if I've been kicked off the island and chance having to go to the gym OR do I sit here and finish my Turkey picture puzzle with my feet up and pretend that it's completely normal not to hear from the girls at all?

Sugar is waiting for an answer so I send a text to the group. "Anyone going to the gym today?" I sit with bated breath, waiting for a reply. I envision the three of them already at the gym, side by side on the treadmills, ignoring my message, sharing their own box of cookies.

I get a reply within two seconds.

Paula left her gym gear at work and is heading home, rotted. Lori got a tattoo the day before and doesn't want her gym clothes rubbing against it and making it sore. Renee has a family commitment.

Phew.

So I'm still in the group and I have a good excuse for not going to the gym, as I explain to Sugar. The problem with excuses and living with someone who tries to keep you accountable is that eventually you start to feel guilty. For a brief moment I considered running up and down the stairs in our house but I remember that we are up to 14 repeats and our house has more stairs than at the gym. Plus I did a half hour walk on the treadmill yesterday. That's gotta count for something.

Friday. The gym texts start before 9:00 am. Renee has been wanting to do some sort of circuit/weight training but none of us really know where to start. We're getting bored with the treadmills and there is nothing more detrimental to a workout than boredom.

It's at this moment that I have the most brilliant idea in the history of the world. I'll ask Mr. Collins for advice.

Mr. Collins is the husband of Marathoner-Extraordinaire Pam Collins. He works out at the gym regularly and has arms the size of beef buckets. If anyone knows about gym equipment, it's him. He's also one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet.

Mr. Collins agrees to help us and meets us at the gym for a tutorial. He shows us the best machines and how to use them properly so we don't hurt ourselves because, let's face it, there's a very high chance that we would. He demonstrates the proper stance, which weights to use, which movements to perform and how many sets and repetitions to do for our circuit. He even offers to help us in the future if we need him again. WHEN we need him again.

An hour and a half later, we head to the locker room, muscles burning, and I give the girls the last of my Rice Krispie cookies in an effort to preempt any future chances of exile from the group. Everyone seems excited about our new gym workout options. Hardcore Lori wants to hire Mr. Collins full time.

We head out to our vehicles, unsure if we'll be able to make it down the stairs. Renee and I take a break half way. I need to hold the rail for support but I can barely lift my arms. Sugar may have to feed me my supper tonight. Renee considers getting a feeding tube.

Pain means gain though, right? All this extra work will make us stronger, faster runners. Pain means we cross that finish line stronger and faster than we ever have before.

And based on how I'm feeling right now we should be able to finish our half marathon in about 10 minutes.

This Is How I Gym

It's Tuesday. I'm sitting in my car at the gym parking lot, eating the Rice Krispie Cookies I had planned on leaving on Renee's treadmill as a joke during our workout. No, I'm not fueling for a long run, I'm just a tad hungry. It seems that convincing my body that it no longer needs 3000 calories worth of Christmas treats is proving more difficult than I thought.

I see Renee getting out of her car so I quickly hide the wrapper evidence and go to meet her. It's just the two of us tonight and from the look on Renee's face, she's wishing it was just me.

It's freezing outside. It's C-O-L-D cold. I'm once again grateful that Renee suggested a winter gym membership and that we're not running outside. Inside the ladies change room we compete for a spot in the 10 square centimeter space around the one tiny heater. We debate staying here for the next hour.

We eventually make our way to the treadmills. I haven't made much use of the rest of the gym and I start to feel guilty about that until I have the same conversation with myself I do every time I come here. You had a stress fracture. You need to be running to make sure your body can handle the half marathon. You need to build your cardio back up. If you weren't at the gym you'd be running on the treadmill at home and this is no different. You signed up at the gym so you wouldn't have to run outside in the cold and chance slipping. Give yourself a break! Then Pitbull starts playing in my ears and I don't hear the rest.

I start my 5 K run. I'm still running slower than I did before the fracture, but I've done several 5 K's now and everything seems to be fine. I decide to up the speed a little for the last kilometer. My lungs are screaming at me, "What are you doing??? I thought we were done with running!" But I survive the ordeal and I realize that I have a long way to go before I'm back to my regular pace. Good thing the half isn't until September. 

I'm getting ready to do some stretching when Renee reminds me that we still have to do the stairs. Last week Renee had this great idea that we should run up and down the stairs as a part of our workouts. I was skeptical because I hate exercise, but I went along with it. We started out small, with two repeats, then three and tonight we jump to five. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to stand up at all tomorrow. 

We finish off the workout with some stretching, which really means we lie on mats on the floor and have a chat. Despite the hunger, cold and lack of interest we had a decent workout. We celebrate with a short dance routine in the change room. We discuss the option of getting tea, but decide we'll do that on Saturday instead, when we have more time and less commitments. 

We also discuss our goals for the winter months. Weight loss? Pace? PB? Distance? All valid options, but we end up setting a goal of .....setting a goal. Sometime in the next three months we will definitely set a goal for ourselves. I'll keep you posted. 

Dear Renee

Dear Renee,

Today Paula, Lori and I went to the gym while you were at work. We ran side by side on the treadmills, reading the closed captions of Live! With Kelly and Michael while you sat at your desk, working hard and wishing you were with us. Or maybe you're just laughing at us behind our backs while you eat popcorn with your feet up on your desk.

We thought of you often as we ran, wondering why we were here and you were not when this whole thing was your idea. We questioned why we were at the gym for the fourth day in a row, working harder than we ever did when we were running three times a week outside. We praised your ability to motivate us to be here day after day while you send us updates on your new Garmin monkey Todd and his banana addiction.

We tried to make you proud. I ran my first 5k since the stress fracture. Lori has been running 10k a day. Paula has added biking to her routine. Oh, and I can't forget the weight training.

We hope you had a good day without us and that you didn't miss us too much. We did miss you but we know that before too long you'll be back with us, running side by side, trying to get that PB for Todd and feeling like death when we're all done.

Oh, and by the way, you may not have noticed, but we have not had a post workout tea break since this whole gym thing started. That was one of the deciding factors of joining a gym. So you owe us big time.

See you in the New Year,

Your Bestest Running Gym Buddies.

Spider Pig

Eight weeks.

I haven't been running in eight weeks and truthfully, I haven't missed it one little bit. I could so very easily give it all up and forget that I ever decided I wanted to learn to run.

Except for the fact that I'm registered for a half marathon. And I convinced Renee, Lori and Paula to register as well. If I give up now I might as well enter the witness protection program.

The results of my x-ray were inconclusive. No stress fracture could be seen, but as I have learned, x-rays aren't the best option where stress fractures are concerned. It is however, awesome at letting you know that plantar fasciitis may rear its pain filled head at some point in the future.

Since the x-ray wasn't of much use, my GP suggested I have a bone density scan. I signed up and had my appointment three weeks later.

Fortunately, I don't have a lot of experience with hospital procedures which is probably a good thing since hospitals have the ability to make me pass out. I don't know why, but every time I sit in a hospital waiting room, it gets unbearable warm and I have the uncontrollable urge to lie down on the cold tile floor to prevent myself from collapsing into a heap of uselessness. Giving blood and have injections also have this same effect.

So while I lay on the x-ray table, feeling the cold alcohol wipe run across the back of my hand, I tried to focus on something other than the fact that the last time I had a needle stuck in my body, I passed out. The cute animal pictures on the ceiling weren't helping so I put all my concentration into getting as much oxygen into my body as possible, taking big deep breaths, trying to not let the technician know that I was a basket case.

It must have worked because I didn't even feel the jab and the technician didn't waver in her explanation of what was involved in a bone density scan.

Right now I was being injected with a small amount of radioactive material - the same amount I would be exposed to during a regular x-ray. I can't really comment on what she said after this point because my brain was now singing the Spider-Man theme song.

"Is he strong? Listen bud, He's got radioactive blood.
Da da da, dum dum dum, something, something that rhymes with blood.
Hey there, there goes the Spider Pig!
Can he swing from a web, no he can't he's a pig..."

I apologize to all the Spider-Man fans out there. I really know nothing about the guy. I am, however, more familiar with the Spider-Pig. For those of you who aren't, here is a short video.

Watch The Simpsons - Spider Pig

But I digress.

Results of the bone scan didn't show any break or fracture but it did show that there had been some sort of inflammation in the area that had been causing pain. Everything looked good now though so my GP gave me the all clear to go for a short, slow run.

Yay.

Motivating myself to go out in the cold to start running again proved to be no easy task so when Renee suggested we join a gym I jumped at the idea. Well, not really jumped. It was more like resigning myself to the fact that it was time to get off my butt and get back at it.

Five days before Christmas we had our first visit to the gym. I headed straight to the treadmills determined to get my first run done and prove to myself I could still do this. Renee hopped on the machine next to me and we started out at a brisk walk for half a kilometer. The goal was to start running at this point. As we neared the 1/2 k mark, I started to feel scared. What if I started running and felt the pain in my foot again? What if all my cardio was back to square one? What if I couldn't do this anymore?

With Renee cheering me on, I started to run. It was slow and short like my GP recommended but I did it. There was no pain and I could still talk to Renee as we trotted along side by side. I'd say Day One was a success and I'm actually looking forward to Day Two.

Maybe this won't be so bad after all.

The Boot

Renee is going to have a field day with this.

I'm sure I can hear her laughing all the way from town, shouting "Karma!!!" from the top of her lungs as she does a hip hop routine she choreographed in my honor.

How did I get to this point? Come, sit a while and let me tell you my tale.

About a week ago, I noticed a slight pain near the top of my foot after a long day of standing while at work. I brushed it off as a side effect of the work day.

The rest of the week went the same - foot pain in the evening after being on my feet all day. Still nothing to be alarmed by, or so I thought. I kept up the running because my foot felt much better when I was wearing my amazing Saucony's.

Enter the weekend. The pain started showing up earlier in the day and by Monday morning, it was there from the minute I woke up. I had visions of what was coming. Stress fracture. The boot. No running. Renee giggling.

But maybe, just maybe, I was over reacting.

I managed to get in to see my Doctor that day. "Looks like a stress fracture."

Balls.

My GP is also a runner so he is quite familiar with the entire process. He told me I would have to take a break from running for a while.

I had mixed emotions at this news. On one hand, I was planning on taking a break anyway since my vacation time is just around the corner. On the other hand, my vacation is just around the corner and I don't want to be propped up at the bar watching Todd dance like a lawnmower instead of being out on the dance floor myself. However, now I don't have to pack any running gear. But I may have to wear a boot in the hot tub.

Since I'd had the pain for a couple of weeks, the Doc figured I might benefit from an x-ray. Apparently stress fractures only show up on an x-ray once they begin to heal. He also mentioned that a bone density test might be in order. Fun times.

I had some time to think as I sat in the waiting room. A stress fracture. Me. How is that even possible?? Don't you have to run hard and often to end up with one of those? I drink tea and walk half the time.

And what will this mean for my half marathon training? Just how long will it take to fully heal? I have to be able to train. I already bought a thirteen one t-shirt from Road ID.

I decided to ask the internet. According to most (somewhat reputable) sites it can take anywhere from six to eight weeks to fully heal. That will take me to the end of the year. That still leaves me plenty of time to train, but I'll be starting from scratch, learning to run all over again. I wonder if there are any training programs that involve sitting down for two months?

The staff at x-ray were very efficient and I was in and out of the hospital in less than an hour, almost without my pants. The technician who took my scans commented on how much she liked them and told me she tried to by the same pair last week but didn't have any luck. I think she was considering asking me to change into a hospital gown.

It will take a week or more to get the results of the x-ray. I was feeling in limbo about what I should do in the meantime. My foot was aching and I just wanted it to be fixed. Sugar suggested I get a boot and start wearing it now to get a jump start on the healing process. I think Renee has been texting him.

I went online to the ultimate source of running knowledge, the PRC Facebook group. Finding a boot was proving difficult until the Awesome Ed Long offered me the use of his, delivery included.

Now I'm clomping around the house like a bowl legged member of the walking dead, but at least my foot isn't hurting. I'll miss the group run tonight and every night for the next few weeks. That makes me sad but I know it has to be done. I have to take care of myself so I can get back to walking/running and drinking tea with my peeps.

My blogs may be fewer and farther between, but I'll still be here. I somehow have the feeling that not running won't make any difference when it comes to my running adventures.  ;)

10 Kilometers and a Nap

Ah, Thanksgiving. A time to think about all the blessing in your life, the people you hold dear, the food you are going to eat with reckless abandon and for runners, the possibility of getting a personal best at the Turkey Tea 10 km Road Race. Or in my case, the possibility of staying in a warm truck and driving to finish line.

The thought did cross my mind as we waited at the start line. I could get back in my vehicle and drive to Tim Horton's for a hot beverage. I could easily convince Renee to come with me. We could finish our nap.

There was just one thing that prevented me from hopping in the truck and driving away like Mario Andretti in the Batmobile. The person sitting in the back of my vehicle, staring at the start line, looking like she's about to toss her cookies is Paula.

Paula is fairly new to PRC. I knew she would fit right in when she posted after one week of running with us: "Saturdays are my favourite..... And it has nothing to do with the raisin tea bun at coffee matters either". Friend request sent.

The Turkey Tea was Paula's second 10 km race. On her first 10 km race she ran 10 and 1's but this time she was determined to run the whole distance without any walk breaks. She was obviously nervous and there was no way I could leave her to run alone. Puking on the side of the road is bad enough. Doing it without any support is unbearable.

So when the whistle blew to mark the start of the race, I was there, knowing that I was only 10 kilometers away from tea and cinnamon buns.

The first few kilometers went by in relative silence. There were comments on how much hills suck and how we were so cold we couldn't feel our fingers. By the half way point things had improved. The sun was up and we were starting to feel too warm. Gloves came off. We waved like the Queen as we ran through intersections full of cars who had stopped to let us pass. Renee was doing jetés.

I think it was near the 7 km mark when I mentioned that the distance left was roughly the same as a run around Neil's Pond in Paradise. Paula, who had been concentrating fiercely on finishing her run, finally realized how awesome she is and stated "I can do this!"

As each kilometer passed, Renee equated the remaining distance to landmarks along our usual running route. Then the bright orange pylons that indicated which direction we had to go to get cake came in to sight. The PRC cheerleaders were on the corner, drinking coffee.

We started together and crossed the finish line together. Renee and Paula both had a personal best and I had a great run with my running buddies. Paula sent me a very sweet message later that day thanking me for all the help and encouragement I had given her on the run. It made me glad that I didn't leave her alone at the start line.

Our finish line picture is now NL Running's Facebook cover photo. That means we are awesome. I love the look on Paula's face - she's looking up at the clock and fist bumping the air with happiness. I also love that Renee looks like she's about to go back and finish our nap.

We celebrated with tea and various treats provided by NWRC (New World Running Club) and all three of us won a prize. It was a great way to end the racing season and a wonderful reminder of how much better racing is when you don't do it alone. It's just one more thing to be thankful for.

The Dread Pirate Roberts

We all have that one movie that sits firmly at the top of our favorites list. You've seen it a hundred times. You can quote 90% of the script by heart. You force your friends and kids to watch it. You own the VHS, DVD and Blu-Ray, not to mention the t-shirt, mug and board game. 

For me, this movie is The Princess Bride so it was an obvious choice to use The Dread Pirate Roberts as my pirate name when I registered for the pirate-themed 2016 Maritime Race Weekend half marathon.

Yes, you read that correctly. I, the ten-is-the-most-I'll-ever-race-yes-I'm-serious-no-I-won't-change-my-mind reluctant racer, have registered for a half marathon.

I really never thought that I would ever want to run a half marathon. EVER. I mean who in their right mind wants to run 21.1 kms? That means running for two and a half hours! Why would I ever consider doing that?

Yet, here I am, registered.

I guess it's because things have improved for me on the running scene this past year. No, I haven't gotten any faster. No, it hasn't gotten any easier. But I made a few changes that made running more enjoyable which means the longer distances are no longer something only to be observed from the side lines. 

Plus there are about 40 PRCers going and there's a huge party afterwards that I don't want to miss. 

According to the race website, maritimeraceweekend.com, there is a massive Pirate Jamboree post race which includes music, food and libations. Everyone will be dressed like a pirate. That's exactly how I want to celebrate my first half marathon. 

It's also two days before International Talk Like A Pirate Day (September 19, 2016) so fingers crossed the pirate attitude will carry over to Sunday's flight home.

The race was the primary topic of conversation at the Thursday evening run. Sporting our new Biped running shirts, it took me all of five seconds to convince Renee that she was going to do the half as well. We discussed what our training plan should be and both agreed that following the typical training plans just wouldn't work for us. Running five days a week? Not happening. Fartleks? Umm, no. Tempo runs? Very funny.

We decided on a plan that has mostly 5 K runs with a long run every second weekend, with the scatter 8 K thrown in for good measure. There are more rest days than run days. The most important part of the plan would be having tea post run. And maybe a doughnut. Or McDonald's.

I know this probably isn't the best way to train for a half marathon but it's what will work for me. If I have to run five days a week, do tempo runs, hill training, fartleks, cross training and strength training all while still trying to have some sort of a normal home life, I'll quit before the first week is out. 

The goal is to cross the finish line. I won't be at my peak physically and I won't be breaking any records. At the end of the day I will have a half marathon PB and the time it takes doesn't matter. The course is open for 6 hours and I'm sure I can make it across the finish line before the last ambulance does. That is if I don't get sidetracked by eating the candy and relaxing in the Adirondack chairs that are available along the route.

I just have to figure out how to carry all the Rice Krispie cookies I'll need for that distance. But there's plenty of time for that. 

In the mean time, I think I'll watch a movie. In case you're wondering, The Princess Bride is On Demand. Inconceivable!